BOSS GURU

Got a workplace gripe? Or just need some sage advice? BOSS Guru is your boffin on hand to help you navigate through the unwritten laws of the workplace. Please send your questions to boss@afr.com.au. Updated monthly.

2010

JULY

Q. It is bad enough not being a gym junkie when we all know the contemporary workplace is really just a collection of brain-dead toned limbs parading around in suits and sipping on hydration drinks. But throw in the World Cup every four years and I am not a happy office worker. If I even glance at a still photograph involving men and small black-and-white balls, my eyes glaze over. I'd rather pull my fingernails off one by one than watch a whole game, especially at 2am.

But do you think I can share this with my colleagues? All of whom have been next to useless the past few weeks after spending their nights glued to the telly and crying over the Socceroos. "Soccer Whos?? I say. Fortunately, this also means they have failed to notice I am silent on all matters to do with soccer, or football or whatever you want to call this confounded game. As the finals approach, I seriously fear I won't be able to keep my secret safe until the wretched competition is over. What should I do? Own up or fake it?

A. Stop hiding in that closet right now. Disliking the round ball game (or any other for that matter) is nothing to be ashamed of. And it's not as if you are entirely alone. Italian writer Umberto Eco, for example, described football as a "cosmic, meaningless performance?. Financial Times columnist Simon Kuper reckons male sport could be the main global force dumbing us down: "If a quarter of the energy that goes into the football World Cup were spent on things that mattered, we would have cured malaria by now?, he wrote.

You can always try those lines at the office and see how it goes down. Just be sure to move any heavy objects away before you let loose. Sleep deprivation can do funny things to people and we don't want any OH&S issues.

PS: Have you considered the rugby as an alternative? Only 426 or so sleeps to go until the Rugby World Cup – and at least that will be in NZ.

Yours, BOSS Guru